


Please Don't

by blackbirdsinging



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Insecurity, JUST, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Self-Hatred, asami being, but i dont feel sorry at ALL lmao, i should apologize to asami, real sad lmao, woop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23256151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdsinging/pseuds/blackbirdsinging
Summary: A look inside Asami's thoughts, late at night with his lover by his side.
Relationships: Asami Ryuichi/Takaba Akihito
Comments: 11
Kudos: 128





	Please Don't

Asami Ryuichi is a very selfish man.

He gets what he wants, he always takes what he wants.

_((he takes and he takes and takestakestakestakesnonothimpleasedon'ttakeawayfromhim))_

That's how he acquired all his treasures, his company, his money—

_((bright hazel eyes turn soft at this hour, golden tresses in the moonlight. He clings when he sleeps and Asami lets it anchor him to the world, to this.))_

—And yes, Asami thought dispassionately, it's how he acquired him. The body laying on his side, carefully cradled in his arms. Soft breath tickled the crook of his neck where Akihito pressed his face into.

They finished their nightly routine just now at, a glance at his bedside clock, one in the morning. Akihito, just back from a photoshoot with a modeling agency, seemed tired and content with the way he didn't put up a fight when Asami tucked him in next to himself. No false pretense of sassy words or callouts, just a simple humm without even opening his eyes and arms moving to intertwine behind Asami's head,

"Okay, goodnight."

And yet since then, Asami couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. Couldn't bring himself to tear away from this boy, this absolute wonder, in his arms.

_Why are you here?_

He took him—

_((You stole him.))_

—From his world, from the safeties of normal life. He brought him to this world.

_((dragged him down with you.))_

Well, that wasn't fair. Akihito was already dipping his toes into the criminal underground, in account of the fact that it was his job as a criminal photographer.

_((You brought him to the deep end. He wasn't supposed to be here but you can't help yourself can you? You have to have him. Have to have a taste of that light that is so absent from your world, can't you see he doesn't belong here that you're going to snuff out his light pleasedontsnuffouthislifepleaseplease))_

_He's still here._

Asami still can't grapple the fact that he stayed. Even through the kidnappings, the beatings, the crazed coworkers, Akihito is still _here_.

_((he has nightmares, oh he still has nightmares, of him being a second too late, of him failing to protect the only one that needs protecting, of him failing. He can't failhecan'tfailhecan'tdothathecan'tlosehim))_

He doesn't deserve this. Doesn't deserve this light in his life. Aki doesn't deserve to be chained here. But he can't let him go. Because Akihito will come back, yes his stubborn lover will always come back, he won't just accept it he'll demand a reason and insists he will stay. Asami loves him for it.

He loves Akihito.

_((You monster. Disgusting. You don't deserve that don't chain him to you more don't do this he doesn't deserve this doesn't deserve to be treated like that if you love him youdon'tdeservetolovehim))_

"I love you."

Asami whispered into Akihito's hair, his throat too tight and a sting behind his eyes.

"I love you Takaba Akihito."

_Please don't_ , something in him wails,

_Please don't love me back._

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really really short take on what it would be like if Asami had any insecurities and anxieties about his relationship with Akihito. I read fics where Aki is the one getting these thoughts but i just want one where Asami is suffering :p
> 
> Asami just really needs to be taken down a peg (or two) lol. I at least would like to see that billionaire bastard go through ~emotions~ and ~feelings~
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, it's the first story i ever share on this site （～￣▽￣～）Kudos and comments are appreciated and i hope that i can bring you more stories in the future 💙
> 
> EDIT: oh shit 100 kudos??? this did not deserve 100 kudos man i love you guys so much 😭😭😭


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